38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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