What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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