i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
