I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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