need another drink. this is the easiest way
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
