Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
