you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
