drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
