Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
