she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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