I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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