I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
