Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize