...so i touched it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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