The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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