Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize