i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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