i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
