But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
