I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
