Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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