You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
