your parents love me but you hate me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
