everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
