maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
