Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
