I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
