did you get engaged???
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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