Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
