just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Quick, to the slutcave!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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