his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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