Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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