he puts the penis in happiness.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you never un-have a 4some
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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