I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize