your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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