Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm always down for nudity.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
