maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize