He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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