Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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