Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
