Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
