i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
