she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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