I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
