we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
