covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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