My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think my vagina is haunted
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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