wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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