Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
