remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
