Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
