If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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