People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
