Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
