Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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