Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize