Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
