He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
