I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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