So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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