Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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