she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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