Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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